Heidi & Seal

Aargh. Heidi and Seal, you know Heidi Klum, supermodel, super talent scout and supermommy and her husband Seal, schmoozy inspirational love ballad singer (kind of 1980s but never mind, still a superstar too), my number one multicultural couple on the “Top 10 GloLo celebrity couples" list, are breaking up. Firstly, from a perhaps egotistical yet also practical perspective, this sorely outdates The Globalisation of Love and makes a second edition, minus Heidi and Seal, necessary. Secondly, it begs the question, did culture play a role?

Let’s look at this couple on the GloLo scale of things. There is nationality. She is German and he is British with a Nigerian and Brazilian background according to Wiki. There is language. She speaks German and he speaks English, although I’ve heard Heidi speak English and she speaks it rather well I must say. There is colour. She is White and he is Black, giving them a nice ebony and ivory look. Hence they do rate high on the GloLoMeter of cultural differentiators. I even heard Heidi complaining to talk show host Jay Leno that it is ‘impossible’ to make a proper cup of tea for a Brit. Indeed.

Despite some of these key cultural indicators however, my theory is that Heidi and Seal have a culture that supersedes all other GloLo indicators and that is the culture of show business. In The Globalisation of Love, I write that jetsetters, which includes the fabulously wealthy and fabulously famous show biz types, live very international lives. They travel frequently, they hobnob with other fabulously wealthy and fabulously famous jetsetters. Their wealth and associated glamour is their dominant cultural characteristic. They have other issues in their marriage too. They have image consultants monitoring their every move along with that of their partner, they get paid to do nude scenes with other actors, they cannot leave the house without large dark sunglasses, a posse of security guards and trailing paparazzi. They live, quite literally, in a different world. And how they prepare their tea becomes largely irrelevant because usually someone else is preparing it for them, if you know what I mean.

It’s sad though, and I am sorry for Heidi and Seal and of course for their four GloLo children. I guess the updated edition of The Globalisation of Love should include a Top 10 list for GloLo celebrity divorces. I would re-instate Heidi and Seal in a number one position followed by American Tiger Woods and Swedish Elin Nordegren, English Elizabeth Hurley and Indian Arun Nayar, American Madonna and English Guy Ritchie … Oh, I wish writing was always so easy.